Tips for Building Confidence and Positive Self-Talk

Do you always second-guess yourself?
Imagine you strutted into a room, extremely confident and completely sure about yourself.
How would it feel?
Most of us would love to be more confident - whether about our bodies, our opinions, or ourselves in general.
 So, how can you become more confident?
Here are four crucial tips for building self confidence. 

Self-confidence board

Four Tips for Building Self-Confidence

1.    Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

How often have you caught yourself scrolling on Instagram, comparing yourself to all the perfectly filter-ed selfies or the envious lifestyles of others? How did you feel after this? I’d bet you didn’t feel too good.

The moment you compare yourself to others, whether it’s their lives, their appearance, their successes, or their skills, you are amplifying your weakness and only looking at their strengths. This only puts you down and diminishes your self-confidence. Remember, everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, highs and lows, positives and negatives. So instead of focusing on your weaknesses, acknowledge your strengths!

2.    Surround Yourself With Positive People

What type of people do you spend the most time with? Do they leave you feeling better or worse about yourself?

You are the sum of the five people you surround yourself with. So if you surround yourself with people who put you down, you will end up putting yourself down, too! Instead, spend time with people who encourage you, lift you up, and pull out the best in you.

Self-love image

3.    Be Kind To Yourself

Studies have shown a direct correlation between self-compassion and self-confidence; the more compassionate you are towards yourself, the more confident you will be! 

So, show yourself compassion and kindness. This means treating yourself kindly even when you make a mistake or fail at something. Realize that sometimes making a mistake is part of being human. You are not meant to be perfect. Remember that you are always doing the best you can with the resources that you have. It’s okay to make mistakes. It’s okay to be human. 


4.    Practice Positive Self-Talk

How often do you criticize yourself or downplay your achievements? The way you talk to yourself matters.

If you are like me, you might be used to beating yourself up over small mistakes and engaging in negative self-talk. Saying “I’m so stupid”, “I can never do anything right”, “I shouldn’t even try” seems harmless, right? However, it is not. Speaking like this can limit your abilities and your confidence by convincing your subconscious you are flawed or that something is wrong with you. This can seriously break your self-confidence, and after enough negative self-talk, you may actually begin to believe that you can never do anything right.

However, your thoughts aren’t always accurate, and most likely you do a lot of things right. So instead of entertaining negative thoughts, reframe them into something positive. Using the Dear Self, You Rock can help you write down your negative thoughts and change them to positive.  For example, you might say “I can do this” or “I am learning” instead of "This is too hard". It is important to practice a routine that works for you. Journaling and writing down your thoughts may be the perfect solution if nothing else has worked. 

Your Take Away...

Working on your self-confidence has a lot of benefits—at home, at work, and within your relationships. Increasing your self-confidence can help you be more productive, rather than worrying about how you aren’t good enough. It also boosts resilience and makes you more open to new opportunities and areas outside your comfort zone. It will help you have the confident to try anything without second guessing yourself. 

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